— Even if someone has only one day left to live, even only one hour left, they still have an incredible opportunity to make the human body-which they have received just this one time-most beneficial. —

Lama Zopa Rinpoche

Our Ex-Prisoners

Mark Chesterfield

I had been very, very sad and very, very lost for a long time prior to going to prison. I was using excessive amounts of alcohol and cannabis. While intoxicated I made some unsound decisions, was hauled before the courts and I was sentenced to three years.

At first my thoughts were very messy, very gross. The mind was extremely clouded by so many years of substance abuse. Three months into prison life I began to ask why am I here? Why did I get into this situation?

There was a Buddhist monk, Ven. Thubten Lhundrup, visiting the prison. I sought him out and started to read practically everything available. A group of us would hand around second- and third-hand Mandala magazines and look after and support each other. We would meet regularly to meditate together and discuss our practice.

You have no idea just how hungry you are for the Dharma in prison.

I began the Discovering Buddhism course. This clarified and defined what it was I thought I wanted to get out of Buddhism. My meditation became more distilled and focused. With four people in my cell I set about a daily meditation practice. With Lama Zopa Rinpoche chanting Om Mani Padme Hum in my earphones I would always bring my mind back to the breath. It was difficult but I did it.

Eight months into my sentence, my whole demeanour had changed. I decided, “That’s it! I’m not going to be angry anymore, not question the authorities, not argue anymore.”
The less I felt the anger and pain, the more happiness came back towards me, and that was the point that I knew the Dharma was working for me.

As my release date approached,“gate fever” was a very real phenomenon for me. “Am I going to be able to cope, to fit back into society? How is my family going to respond?” At this time I realized that my Dharma practice is me.

It wasn’t until after release that I realized how simple and satisfying life could be. I understood that freedom begins in the mind and for me that means it doesn’t matter where I am or who I am with, whether it’s a grey or rainy day. It really doesn’t matter. Watching your mind, it all stems from that. I know I’m a better person for it and that’s going to be better for the people around me. It’s a win win situation.

I am applying to take up studies in conservation and land management. I want to work as closely as I can with the natural environment, and I know in doing that I am putting in place a support for innumerable sentient beings.

I am constantly reminded by the very air that I breathe and the food that I eat that its all Dharma related and I think that is why I am so satisfied to be able to work with my bare hands because I know that I’m not in the soil benefiting myself but I’m supporting countless other sentient beings.

I’m so humbled and privileged to have met the Dharma. We are all so very fortunate. It’s a big, big responsibility.

Following release, attending my first Dharma talk, it was so good as I was missing that Dharma connection, that sense of support and community that I felt in prison with LPP. That sense that it’s all connected. Knowing that I am supported by not only all at LPP, but also the entire sangha and lay community right across the globe lifts my spirits to ever-increasing heights.